What’s lunch, but a second-hand meeeaall?!

 

Imagine that a man and a woman see each other in public. They are both clearly attracted to one another. He approaches her and compliments her. They talk and really hit it off. Phone numbers are exchanged. Shoulders are grazed. Smirks and eyelash batting is everywhere! But then, before they would have parted ways with an extra contact amongst the virtual masses, he asks her out…

BUT TO LUNCH!!! ‘DUN DUN DUN!’

Her smile turns to confusion instantly as she nods before walking away. He soon realizes what a horrible and irreversible mistake he has made. They are both independently devastated and lost. Everything was going so well, but now she is questioning whether she should even keep his number… of course she’ll consult the judicial council of girlfriends first… that’s just protocol.

(In tears) “Why lunch?! Does he think I’m ugly?!”

“Oh my god, sweety, it’ll be okay. Maybe he meant dinner (eye roll to other girls).”

And the man’s mentality is fairing no better. He really likes this woman, but realizes the connotation of… LUNCH, ‘DUN DUN DUN!’ Lunch is for friends and coworkers. It’s a meal completely void of intimacy. It takes place during a time of day that screams, “You have more to do, so don’t get too comfortable!” He doesn’t know what to do now- should he call her and apologize?- just consider her a friend? How could he make such a classic blunder?

But… then again… what if this blind acceptance of rules is the problem? What if lunch could be BETTER than dinner… WAY BETTER? What if he takes her to a quite hilltop overlooking the city, and they have beautiful and fun picnic? What if it’s more intimate than a busy restaurant? What if they are more open to getting to know one another, and being honest, because the added expectations that come with following the rules don’t fill their thoughts? They are just two people who like each other being two people that like each other.

In case you couldn’t tell by now, I believe everything is relative, or that what we want, what think is good and bad, what we accept and deny, and what we believe and know can change and is unique among minds. I also believe that it is good for us to challenge that perspective of ours; to change. Dating rules are of course just one facet of that perspective. But think about the idea that if you could be wrong about what lunch means, or who has to pay, or be forward, or what you’re ‘supposed’ to do, that you could be wrong about other rules too- from dating- and beyond.