Pushed out of line

He lost their way

The passage of time

kept him at bay

A promising child

to a shell of a man

A beautiful boy

to a hopeless case

who can’t even stand

much less race

All is lost

or so they’d say

But choice so it happens

has a different way

Instead of wallowing in lies

he found the truth

that those who cry

keep their youth

And the ones on track

Who seem to win

And always wear that friendly grin

are the ones who lack

and stand in line

So I’ll stay lost

And be just fine

This is the only poem in my first poetry book specifically about me. For my entire life I’ve felt out of place. You can read more about the specific outside circumstances that were involved in me being secluded in the “About” section of this blog. But even during the brief times in my life when I seemed to fit in, and thought I was less of an outcast, I still couldn’t fully absorb and follow like others. I have never really been ‘just one of the guys’ or even ‘just one of the people’.

It took me a long time, but I eventually recognized that even though my cynical and uneasy perspective towards everything was negative in a way, it can also be very positive. That is what this poem is about. It’s about how there is more to life than what we assume is best- there is more to life than our happiness. We automatically absorb and accept ideas from our culture about money, possessions, how to treat others, what to do, what to buy, the rules of relationships, politics, and social networking. We determine that these preconceived practices are all we need. So, they make us happy- the more expensive our house or car the better, the more ‘attractive’ our spouse according to social standards the better, the more friends the better, the more fame the better, winning is better than losing, America and Jesus are always right, etc.

No matter what you believe, it is remarkably important to realize it isn’t all that’s there. Just because something makes you happy, doesn’t mean it’s moral, honest, accurate, or fair; much less best. Our happiness is necessary for us- we need an amount of it to keep going- but only seeking happiness is a negative extreme. Of course we can’t stop trying to be happy, but if we use our other half (conscious) to see reality and deal with it, we can find a middle ground where we improve our selves and the world, and find incredible happiness from doing so.